melissaahowells

      Poet's Home             All Poetry       Sign Up!  Login
© 2000-2022 Individual Authors of the Poetry. All rights reserved by authors.   459298 Poems Read.

Search for Poetry

   


Read Poetry
<< [Previous]

A Language You Can't Ignore.... re-edited 1/12/2022

They Say The Preying Mantis Is No Lady

You Can Oh Yes You Can (RE-EDITED 1/9/2021 12:07AM PST time and date stamped.)

HERSTORY...NOT A POEM BUT EXPERIENCE #ONE

I Saw A Star And Dared to Reach For It



The Invitation..( the message of .come as you are>>)

The Nature Of Water

THIS IS MY CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE, ENTER WITHIN

the wonder that always shall be...

Do You Gather Up Your Days The Way Others Collect Wild Butterflies?

Tender Love New And Quick...

Have You Ever... (DECEMBER 4/2021)

The Man On The Red Bicycle (an ode) RE-EDITED 12/4/2021

Stray Cats and I have an understanding... 11/23/2021 copyright

If It Does Them Any Good At All 11/16/2021 date/time stamped

OUTSIDE-THE CROWS 11/14/2021

Still, More Time NOV 6 2021

The Wonder Cat

Little Bundle I Call Joy

AUGUST 1977 (IN THE REMEMBERING)

Wishing Them Onto Better Days

Seize This Day, The One You're With

Only Grief....

Forgive Me (GHUEY-BOY)

The Loving Art

OUTER SHELL

The Stars Go Out

Soothe (re-edited 1:40Pm 8/17/21 for clarity for me as a five year old)

No One--I Know Who I Am

At My Gnarled Feet 7/27/2021

Here, After?

Burning The Trees Into Ghosts

More Poetry >>

 
Features

  Sign Guestbook

Read Guestbook

 
   

Forgive Me (GHUEY-BOY)


This has been on my mind
for so long
I think its become a part of me.

I have been trying to avoid it
but it steps in my way.

I lay down to sleep at night
and it interrupts.

Its morning and I feel relieved
to have had some sleep
and it reminds me
that it is still here.

It has a twin
but they look nothing alike.
Their names rhyme so that I
am forced to remember them.

Do not let it in
I tell myself
they will not let you rest
and you will weaken

the day we decided to let you go
is seared into my memory

it was not your decision
you wouldn't have done things this way

why is alleviating suffering
often not for the one who suffers
but those who have to watch

I cannot un-do the decision
but I am wracked with regret
and guilt and its tormenting brats
of negative emotions

If you could live for a thousand years
or whatever it would take to satisfy
your need for play and sunshine
and watching birds and talking to squirrels,
I'd give that to you
even if it cost me everything.

truth be told
we ended our suffering
we were the weak ones
we were afraid
we could not stand it
and I cannot begin to forgive myself
some quiet alone nights
the thing which I have done.

first the hurt she gave you
when she put you to sleep and you cried out
second the fact that you always trusted me
and I am sure you weren't expecting death
and third that you could not hear me say good=bye
and knowing it was not a good-bye for anyone.

it rarely if ever is.
its only that way in bad novels
and b-movies.

so I keep your ashes
and pretend its you
and open the lid to the box
hoping to catch a smell of
your familiarity.

this is grief
this is the worst kind

forgive me
little one
dearest one,
please.

I cannot forgive myself.

LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM 4:45pm PST WRITTEN DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE
TIME AND DATE STAMPED ON OCTOBER 4, 2021 AND ALSO FOR THIS WRITER
MELISSA A. HOWELLS AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED AND REGISTERED
POETRY SITE TITLE:MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD








Vote for this poem