Welcome to My Poetry Site
Joke Skit #4
Joke Skit #4
Lil Insomnia: Hey, Mom!
Mom: Yes dear?
Lil Insomnia: Guess what I had for lunch today at school.
Mom: Mystery meat?
Lil Insomnia: Uh, no, worse!
Mom: Ohhh myyy
Lil Insomnia: Well, I had some more fruit. Gross fruit!!
Mom: Ewwww! Was it ugli fruit?
Lil Insomnia: Haha, very funny! And not! And guess what brand it was? And also, it was not ugli fruit!
Mom: Was it Dole-licious? And Dole-lightful?
Lil Insomnia: Oh yeah, it was Dole! But the other definition: as in borrr-ing! I had it at least 4 weeks in a row!
Mom: That sounds crazy dull!
Lil Insomnia: I know, right? Four weeks in a row, come on! I mean schools are kind of famous for having gross lunches, but like, come on!! Four weeks in a row?!
Mom: But variety is the spice of life!
Lil Insomnia: Yeah, when ya have one! But right now, I don't have much of a variety!
Mom: Some marichino cherries sound wonderful!
Lil Insomnia: Uh yeah, but we don't really have that at my school. We just have… the four-week-in-a-row menu!
Mom: Lol, so what kind of fruit was it?
Lil Insomnia: What kind of fruit was it, you ask? Well, I never really thought they had tomato cups before. But I guess they do!
Mom: Yummay!
Lil Insomnia: Yuckay!!
Mom: Tomato cups sound spectacular! Just add a cheeseburger, lettuce, cheese and ketchup!
Lil Insomnia: Number one, you know I'm not a cheese person. So if you add cheese to a cheeseburger that's just too much cheese and dairy!
Mom: Keep cheesin'!
Lil Insomnia: No thank ya!! Plus, if you add a tomato cup to a cheeseburger, with all the tomato juice, that's gonna taste uh, uh, what am I looking for? Ah yes, (in a low, creepy voice) Disgusting!!
Mom: Wow, that was creepy!!
Lil Insomnia: But I've got an idea.
Mom: Care to share?
Lil Insomnia: How ‘bout ya pack my lunches?
Mom: So. What kind of tomato cups would you like?
Lil Insomnia: Uh, I'll tell you what kind a tomato cups I want. I want nothing with a side of nothing. But I will take a nice um, turkey sandwich on a golden platter. Or with a side of golden platter.
Mom: Sounds great!
Lil Insomnia: Mom, can you please add the golden platter? It makes things look appetizing!
Mom: Even better than a silver platter?
Lil Insomnia: No, I meant made of pure gold.
Mom: What kind of job would you like to get?
Lil Insomnia: One that makes me a thousand dollars an hour!
Mom: Um.
Lil Insomnia: I could be a gold miner! Lol! I've already got half the minor part!
Mom: Hmm. A gold digger. Like your father?
Lil Insomnia: Errr. Not that kind. You know, the kind that goes into the earth's core with a pick-axe or a pail and a shovel and start diggin'!
Mom: Phew! You had me worried! I thought you might do something dangerous or something!
Lil Insomnia: Mom, for one, I'm not a burglar. And you can look in my closet. I don't have any jail jumpsuits. I don't think I even have orange in my closet. Or black and white striped anything. Oh wait, that's a lie. Hello Kitty shirt!
Mom: I've always thought you would look smashing in orange. Just please. Please, not a prison jumpsuit! It would be amazing if you would just be the angel I requested. :)
Lil Insomnia: So you want me to be a ghost? You requested me to be a ghost?
Mom: Not an actual angel. Just a well-behaved child.
Lil Insomnia: Now I can't wait ‘til I'm 18. So now I won't have to be a well-behaved child.
Mom: Oh good, then you can be a well-behaved, responsible, boring adult!
Lil Insomnia: Hey, I'm not that boring! And I won't be that old! And uh, maybe not that well behaved, but I'll be responsible. Sort of!
Mom: Speaking of which, what's grosser than gross?!
Lil Insomnia: Oh, you wanna know?
Mom: Oh, I am afraid. I am very afraid.
Lil Insomnia: Hey, didn't you tell me in your psychology classes or whatever that was, that when people ask questions, that they probably don't want to know… But they feel they want to know, but there's one of these moments right here.
Mom: Exactly! You got me! It was a rhetorical question.
Lil Insomnia: Rhetorical shmorical, I'm still gonna answer it!
Mom:
Lil Insomnia: Well, you see, a long, long time ago…
Mom: No, I can't take it anymore!!
Lil Insomnia: Oh, I haven't even started this part yet.
(to be continued)
Copyright 2021
by Insomnia and Lil Insomnia
December 2021
Lil Insomnia: Hey, Mom!
Mom: Yes dear?
Lil Insomnia: Guess what I had for lunch today at school.
Mom: Mystery meat?
Lil Insomnia: Uh, no, worse!
Mom: Ohhh myyy
Lil Insomnia: Well, I had some more fruit. Gross fruit!!
Mom: Ewwww! Was it ugli fruit?
Lil Insomnia: Haha, very funny! And not! And guess what brand it was? And also, it was not ugli fruit!
Mom: Was it Dole-licious? And Dole-lightful?
Lil Insomnia: Oh yeah, it was Dole! But the other definition: as in borrr-ing! I had it at least 4 weeks in a row!
Mom: That sounds crazy dull!
Lil Insomnia: I know, right? Four weeks in a row, come on! I mean schools are kind of famous for having gross lunches, but like, come on!! Four weeks in a row?!
Mom: But variety is the spice of life!
Lil Insomnia: Yeah, when ya have one! But right now, I don't have much of a variety!
Mom: Some marichino cherries sound wonderful!
Lil Insomnia: Uh yeah, but we don't really have that at my school. We just have… the four-week-in-a-row menu!
Mom: Lol, so what kind of fruit was it?
Lil Insomnia: What kind of fruit was it, you ask? Well, I never really thought they had tomato cups before. But I guess they do!
Mom: Yummay!
Lil Insomnia: Yuckay!!
Mom: Tomato cups sound spectacular! Just add a cheeseburger, lettuce, cheese and ketchup!
Lil Insomnia: Number one, you know I'm not a cheese person. So if you add cheese to a cheeseburger that's just too much cheese and dairy!
Mom: Keep cheesin'!
Lil Insomnia: No thank ya!! Plus, if you add a tomato cup to a cheeseburger, with all the tomato juice, that's gonna taste uh, uh, what am I looking for? Ah yes, (in a low, creepy voice) Disgusting!!
Mom: Wow, that was creepy!!
Lil Insomnia: But I've got an idea.
Mom: Care to share?
Lil Insomnia: How ‘bout ya pack my lunches?
Mom: So. What kind of tomato cups would you like?
Lil Insomnia: Uh, I'll tell you what kind a tomato cups I want. I want nothing with a side of nothing. But I will take a nice um, turkey sandwich on a golden platter. Or with a side of golden platter.
Mom: Sounds great!
Lil Insomnia: Mom, can you please add the golden platter? It makes things look appetizing!
Mom: Even better than a silver platter?
Lil Insomnia: No, I meant made of pure gold.
Mom: What kind of job would you like to get?
Lil Insomnia: One that makes me a thousand dollars an hour!
Mom: Um.
Lil Insomnia: I could be a gold miner! Lol! I've already got half the minor part!
Mom: Hmm. A gold digger. Like your father?
Lil Insomnia: Errr. Not that kind. You know, the kind that goes into the earth's core with a pick-axe or a pail and a shovel and start diggin'!
Mom: Phew! You had me worried! I thought you might do something dangerous or something!
Lil Insomnia: Mom, for one, I'm not a burglar. And you can look in my closet. I don't have any jail jumpsuits. I don't think I even have orange in my closet. Or black and white striped anything. Oh wait, that's a lie. Hello Kitty shirt!
Mom: I've always thought you would look smashing in orange. Just please. Please, not a prison jumpsuit! It would be amazing if you would just be the angel I requested. :)
Lil Insomnia: So you want me to be a ghost? You requested me to be a ghost?
Mom: Not an actual angel. Just a well-behaved child.
Lil Insomnia: Now I can't wait ‘til I'm 18. So now I won't have to be a well-behaved child.
Mom: Oh good, then you can be a well-behaved, responsible, boring adult!
Lil Insomnia: Hey, I'm not that boring! And I won't be that old! And uh, maybe not that well behaved, but I'll be responsible. Sort of!
Mom: Speaking of which, what's grosser than gross?!
Lil Insomnia: Oh, you wanna know?
Mom: Oh, I am afraid. I am very afraid.
Lil Insomnia: Hey, didn't you tell me in your psychology classes or whatever that was, that when people ask questions, that they probably don't want to know… But they feel they want to know, but there's one of these moments right here.
Mom: Exactly! You got me! It was a rhetorical question.
Lil Insomnia: Rhetorical shmorical, I'm still gonna answer it!
Mom:
Lil Insomnia: Well, you see, a long, long time ago…
Mom: No, I can't take it anymore!!
Lil Insomnia: Oh, I haven't even started this part yet.
(to be continued)
Copyright 2021
by Insomnia and Lil Insomnia
December 2021
Comment On This Poem --- Vote for this poem
Joke Skit #4
Joke Skit #4