Christopher Robin is feeling so sad
Nanny Alice has turned out to be bad
For this bit of skirt
Has started to flirt
With Boris the Downing Street Cad
Knives out at Westminster Palace
Boris been seen dallying with Alice
With a libido so huge you see
He needs at least two or three
But his current wife is Far too jealous
Alice is engaged to one of the guards
Who's six foot eight and big and hard
And currently said Alice
Full of outrage and malice
And thinks Boris just a huge tub of lard
Boris is hiding in Westminster Palace
In a cupboard cuddling with Alice
But Mrs B, acting on a tip
Super glued his trouser zip
Fruitless dalliance in the Palace with Alice.
But Alice's bloke is on war patrol
Searching for Boris's hidey hole
It'll be hell in the Palace
If he finds him with Alice
Boris'll be lucky to come out whole.
Fun and games at Westminster Palace
Red tops are wanting to interview Alice
For info on the doings
And all of the wooings
Of Westminster Palace's rampant phallus
Boris has head stuck up in the cloud
With his nefarious and nasty crowd
He just thinks he's in clover
Getting his seasonal leg over
With the electorate all suitably cowed
So the Christmas farce again goes ahead
What matter a few thousand extra dead
Last year they all missed
The chance to get pissed
And the traditional Turkey and turnip spread
Christopher Robin says it's a funny old life
When Everybody's off with another's wife
At least it seems to come to pass
In the echelons of the upper class
Where such behaviour seems common and rife.