Welcome to My Shopping Plaza
Reserved purely for the best,
Entry initially is only by passing
Our Received Pronunciation Test,
Closely followed by meeting
Our test of personal wealth.
(No well spoken impoverished
Slipping in by stealth.)
When it comes to shortlisting
I'm afraid you'll be needing
More than adequate proof of
Good blood and good breeding.
Be assured everything we sell
Is the epitome of nice
You've evaded our selection if
You have to ask the price.
We've taken every precaution to
Ensure the elite can enjoy
An afternoon of leisured shopping
Away from the common Hoi Poloi.
We d no bias again the lower orders
Most of them behave quite well
And, to be strictly honest only
A minority of them actually smell.
The working class in fact do have
Their place and their use
Even if they do at times require
Protection from our abuse.
Oh, God's still in his Heaven and
His work is more than complete
When affording privilege and style
To that deserving wealthy elite.
There's nothing wrong with equality
In fact I'll give it a toast
So long as they accept that some
Are more equal than the most.
Once your membership is accepted
All our facilities are free
On receipt of course, of our modest
Annual renewal Fee.
We do ask members to accept
That if they bring a guest
They too are expected to pass
Our modest membership test
Welcome to my Shopping Plaza
Safe in the knowledge that's it's true
It's designed for the convenience of
That deserving minority just like you.