We used to listen to the Radio
Five minutes News on the hour
Middle of the road voices
Not too light or too dour.
Now we have twenty four hour TV
With accompanying twenty four news
And a specialist breed of expert on call
To discuss, give opinions and air views.
I think they come from distant lands
With an exotic language they speak,
Suited for every single situation
No matter how apparently bleak.
It's full of special phrases,
Full of jargon too,
And they'll never use one word
If there's a chance of using two.
I think they're hired for the intellectual,
Not a working class peasant like me,
Minimum intellectual standard seems
An upper second Oxbridge degree.
They all seem to know each other,
Seem to come in groups of four,
And unless they're controlled
All can talk for evermore.
I'm sure they could spout
All the day long
Secure in the certitude
They're never ever wrong.
Please, could we have some experts
The common herd can understand,
Not these self certified speakers
From their Intellectually elitist land.
And, it would be more than helpful if,
For even just one day each week,
They would pay heed to the general
And use a language we all speak.
But, there's a special terminology
All those experts use
When they're waxing forth eloquent
On TwentyFour Hour TV News.
