You can't be an atheist in the Army
The recruiting sergeant had said
With that on a record any career
Starts off as good as dead.
No that's just not
What they like to see
Let's just put you down
As being C of E.
I didn't think it would matter
A big mistake I made
It came back to bite me
I fell out of Church Parade.
The Padre held a commission
Which I found rather sinister:
How could he be an officer
As well as being a Minister.
To me it didn't seem
To make any sense
But he treated my query
As being deliberate insolence.
So, I explained the situation
Which he certain wasn't buying
And we exchanged harsh words
When he accused me of lying
And not very long after
His anger was complete
When I stupidly suggested
He should be washing my feet.
They changed my records
And I again fell out at the door,
Never again being expected
To enter the church any more
I saluted the Padre's Commission
As they had a right to expect
But as for the man himself
I held not one iota of respect.
