I care too much
You're on my mind continously
Even if I don't want you to be
I try to block you out
I can't
Maybe I need to learn from you
You been on my mind continously the last 3 years
I pray for you
I always hope the best
Even if I meant I was left out in the cold
Our trauma is not the same
Maybe I didn't understand as much as I thought I did
I could say I'm sorry a trillion times
That won't work
Just I noticed you are doing better
Im secretly proud of you
You're the one man who triggers my anxiety
I fear getting it wrong
I fear you won't like the real me
So I ran away in October
I didn't want to hurt you or myself
I understand myself more now and learned how to behave
I'm learning to heal and listen better
Learning to think before I speak
Or is it the people who I been hanging with?
Im not sure what's triggered me
It Really brought out the side of me I desperately try to hide, but I can't sometimes
I can't just forget you
Your smile, your eyes, your style
Yet I see through you someone like myself desperately trying to get the next milestone in life
You will because you will deserve it and be worthy
I learned to appologise
You really softened me up
I have that fiery side, but I still remember you smiled when I was locking down a deal 2019
I was fiery and if it didn't bother you
Why does this bother me so much?
I guess I need to love that part of me more and laugh it off or think before I speak
Solitude works for a while then being around very aggressive people doesn't help
Anyways thanks for helping me learn
Your a great man
I know you been hurt, but it wasn't your fault
People are idiots
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