Have you seen Godot today?
We were supposed to hook up
but, I guess he split on me.
Hey!
I'm only 18 cents short
of a coffee refill.
No way!
I'm not a home bum
or a starving artist.
I won't have sex for money
unless you're really hot
and you give me hard cash
up front.
I'm not clockin'
What's cookin'
are you hookin'
I know you ain't no bystander
lookin'
Stick around
I may need a witness
for an alibi
because, there's no tellin'
what I might do
if "I can't get no satisfaction."
Do you know where my people's went?
I've almost saved up enough money
to get my van out of impound.
A tow truck snatched it
and what's worse was
my pooch was asleep
in the back seat.
Bummer, huh?
I also have to get my Vicodin
prescription refilled
before I use my bus ticket
to get back home
to Greenbow Alabama.
First, I have to see my worker
to get my new I.D.
Since, my old one was stolen
from out of my fanny pack.
" I ain't got nobody
that I can depend on."
Can you give me a ride
to pick up my drum.
It's in storage.
on 356th St. N.E.
Come on,
It's not that far away
less than an hours drive.
You see, my band has a gig
and I'm outta luck
if I don't get over there today
and straighten things out.
My ex-ole-lady said
she'd lend me enough money
to pay off most of my storage fee.
If I dropped by today.
Could we stop over there
first?
"If shi* cost money
you wouldn't have any."
That's a good one.
Did you just make that up?
You're psychic, aren't you?
Are you reading my mind?
Say, could you spare a nugget?
A warm place to crash?
Do you have an extra towel?
Some clean socks,
Can I sleep in your car?
A shower, anything?
Would you direct me
to your notions department?
I had a cash return slip
But, I think I left it
in your lost and found.
It was supposed to
Save The Children
foundation and mascara
Did you say
12 items in your express check out lane.
I get my food stamps tomorrow
or the day after.
Can I borrow some of you milk
to pour on my Captain Crunch Cereal?
Scored a Twinkie.
I found it
rummaging through
one of my utility pockets.
It's a little smushed in the middle.
Half for you
half for me.
Here, you pick the side you want.
How about a toot of that?
That was pretty good stuff
but, I didn't want to get too amped up.
Besides, it's been stepped on pretty hard.
Just sayin.'
Could I get one more blast for the road?
I'm gonna remember you, bro.
For all you've done for me.
What did you say your name was, again?
Nah,
that's not it.
How 'bout, if I name you?
You look like a Dino to me.
You sorta remind me of my grandfather
His name was Dino.
He was really mellow.
Even though,
he was an old wrinkled up dude.
I'm gonna call you Dino from now on.
Has anyone ever told you
you look like Ron Jeremy
the porn star?
Wait, more like Jerry Garcia.
'Trouble ahead, trouble behind",,,
If you're splittin'
I can toss your burrito wrapper out for you
after I'm finished eatin' the rest of it.
Yo!
is that powdered sugar on your nose
or cocaine?
Can I lick THAT off?
Hey girl,
I'm talkin' to you.
Lookin' pretty fine for your age.
Do you think you or your ole man
could spare a nickel or a dime
for the hung and the restless?
Free hugs.
Let me whisper in your ear
I really need another beer.
WHAT?
You have too pretty of a mouth
to use language like that.
Where can I go to drink a Maker's Mark sour nearby
without being gawked at through the glass,
by gay male waiters
like 'I.m some exotic zoo animal?
Hey!
Bring that camera back over here.
If you wanna take my picture
First, you'll have to register
as a sex offender.
HA HA.
Are you lookin' for some discount AAA batteries?
I really dig your ring.
Would you trade it
for a monthly bus pass?
Come on,
It's good all month long.
It's an all you can ride
handicapped pass.
Why not?
It's a good deal.
It's only the 16th.
Just limp onto the bus
or pretend you're blind.
How much would you charge me
for some of your urine?
I really need it
because my probation officer
requires a clean sample
or else
I am totally violated.
Buddy Bee Anthony
All Editing and Publishin Rights Reserved As Is By This Author
Re-Edited 09/ 10/2023 @ 7:34 PM Pacific Time
All editing and publishing and copyrights expressly reserved, as is, only by this author