That affection was warm and real
Not used to having this love
I kept questioning if it were real
I had to learn true love
When daddy left the world it was hard
Mum was guarded and cold and her affection was shown different
She would buy me gifts on my birthday or take me on holiday
She'd cook amazing food, but I was missing validation
Her communication skills were not always up to scratch
She was tired and I felt you were a great listener
I kept questioning if I were beautiful
I kept asking if you liked me and my interests
I kept focusing on what I wanted my mum to notice
I realised I lost you forever because I hadn't found myself
You told me I lit up like a moon in the darkest of mighty nights
That I was a big star in your eyes
That I were special, but you must take back the ring
I need to love myself and be stronger
I cried on my pillow away from my mum
Just to God wishing to stop feeling so lost
I guess losing you I finally found my deen and myself
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