she wears smiles
which fade so fast to frowns
that
you wonder was there ever
a smile there
its not a test
its not her depression
its that she's not a silly girl--
she wants to be heard
and truly loved
(as-is)
she does wear that smile
for some who've earned it
and sometimes she laughs with a snort
but only for a very few
otherwise she watches
from the corners of her navy eyes
to make sure its safe
to be different
her smile is more than
a smile
it doesn't bend upwards
and stay pasted there
it doesn't painfully tweak
the corners of her bow-mouth
like an obligation
its a decision
and a choice
which she wears like her favorite dress
Elise
my French Teacher once said to me
where do your smiles go to....
she didn't know how they hide
in my bedroom closet at home
and refuse to come out
when my Father is drinking
or my Mother is bending me with her
many manipulations--
I am no one's battering ram
I am no one's vanity project
I am MY own
so if my smile eludes
know that it was there
and it took practice
and faith
and I made weighed decisions
when it appeared/appears
I am non-compliant
and more inner self-reliant
my smile may fade away
but know
I am a woman who proudly wears her frown.
LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM 9/1/2022 3:33PM PST TIME AND DATE STAMPED
AND ALSO FOR THIS WRITER/POET/AUTHOR MELISSA A. HOWELLS
AND ALSO FOR THIS LEGALLY COPYRIGHTED AND REGISTERED SITE TITLE
MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD@
