It's no fun being a Vampire when
you can't stand the sight of blood.
She's tried hunting with a blindfold
But she didn't do much good,
Nearly snapped off a fang
When she went and missed a vein
And got her teeth entangled in
A silver necklace and it's chain.
In the following confusion
Managed to make her escape
Closely followed by outraged
Howls of rape rape rape.
It's back to the drawing board
With colour cancelling specs
But they affect her precision
When aiming for the neck.
She's tried aversion therapy
But it didn't really work
Maybe because her trainer was
Such an uninspiring little jerk.
He's in the first stage of conversion
Cos she thought what the heck
And took a good few mouths full
From his invitingly close up neck.
It's like being on a strict diet
But at least in her anxiety and stress
After years of enforced hunger
She now wears a smaller dress.
She can't remember all the solutions
She's considered and even tried
But being a near immortal knows
At least time is on her side.