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Dunno really

I think I was going to write a bunch of excuses for why I'm a drunk
I make bad choices.
I don't think anything through.
I don't consider how others feel.
Truthfully...I'm a being that doesn't know anything
About how to treat a partner or even be a good partner
I do lie. By omission but it is a lie. And a straight up lie.
I don't think I know how to apologize.
My drinking is unacceptable...I'm not drinking currently
Hopefully I learn this time
I'm hardheaded
I'm ashamed of myself for my behavior
Angry with myself because of my actions
Sad because none of how I've behaved lately has been out of love
I betrayed her...
So why would I get the privilege of being her partner
I don't deserve it. I don't think I ever have really
The least I can do is help until she wants me to go
Im the reason she can't depend on me
Drunk and stupidly I yelled and abused her verbally and emotionally
Scarred her and added trauma
Why would she want me around?
She shouldn't.
Walking red flag...that's who I am
That's how I feel.
That's how I'm doing.
This is the hell im creating for myself
She should run away before i do anymore damage
If I could leave me.....I would too.

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Dunno really