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Thoughts of my crazy mind

I smell her.
But it's not her.
It's like her scent surrounds me.
But she's nowhere to be found.
It's sinking in that I left home.
I'm homesick.
But I can't go back home because OG the state I left it in
Dead to them.
She said I'm dead to them.
I can't fix it.
I already messed it up. Maybe she's right to run while she can
I never wanted to be free
I never thought it would be me that was the submissive one
But that's what she requires
I don't know how to do it
I need so much reassurance in that position
It makes me anxious and impatient
It's so much that runs through my brain
I'm lost.

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Thoughts of my crazy mind