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Sad sad face

I feel the saddest I've ever been.
I miss her soul.
I miss her company.
I miss all of our kids together.
Lord I miss home....
I wanna go home.
I can't sleep.
I can't do nothing right.
I have to put on a mask everyday.
My true self is living in darkness.
This is not what I wanted.
I should never ever have left.
Knowing that I love her.
Knowing I love her kids.
Knowing I should've stayed when I closed the door.
I should've just sat on the porch
Like I'm alone.
I don't want anyone else
It's only her.
I just want my baby back.
The one that loved me too.
That wanted my hugs.
That was so gentle with me.
That held me.
The one that allowed me to melt into her skin
MY baby.
I want her.
I need her.
I'm falling so far apart without her.
I can't believe I left her.
I can't believe I left the kids.
You didn't have to leave. You just needed to be patient.
Now you have damaged everybody involved. Your love , Her, big baby, the boy, Malia, and yourself further.
You messed up their life and your own.
You could've used your words.
You could've shown how you felt about her.
Instead you ran.
You ran away.
They were your blessing and you walked away from them.
The love.
The laughs.
Their everyday.
I feel so low without them.
I miss them so much.
My baby misses them.
I'll never act of emotion like that again.
I don't want to not be there with them.
I should've never separated us all.
Just let sleep find me.
I might not deserve them.
I'm full of bad habits.
I don't know.
I should've tried.
I feel like dirt.
The kind that doesn't support life.
I miss my love.
I miss our road trips.
I miss her.
I miss our speaker and lol the karaoke
Singing til I may have been hoarse the next day
90's music vibe music chill music
I miss her so much.
I never should've left her.
Coffee and cigarettes.
I got scared. I'm sorry.
Everyone else has left me in times like these
You've never said you would but I freaked and now...
I left you alone...
I alienated myself....
From the best thing I could've ever had.
I messed up.
I'm going to figure it out on my own.
I just don't have interest in anyone else
Im not looking.
I just want to be able to provide stability for me and the kid.
I've been practicing abstinence
It's not hard when you don't have an appetite for it.
I'm all over the place.
I've never wanted anyone else touching me and I've not been craving another.
Just one.
I shouldn't have left my lover.
I broke her.
I broke myself.
She told me I was dead to them all.
But I miss them so much.
Lord help her.
Lord guide them and love them.
Lord help me.
Ima just be alone.
This way I don't have to hurt anyone else.
I truly don't want to cause hurt and leave pain.

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Sad sad face