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Road Hog Blues

To the unknown sports car driver
Who caused us so much fright
May the roads be full of traffic
When you attempt to turn right.
May you spend many hours
Constantly being stuck
Behind a series of slow moving
Wide loaded trucks
May all the traffic lights
Be stuck at stop
And no comfort stations
When you need a pit stop.

May there be many road works
On your every single trip
May every pair of your trousers
Develop a jammed fly zip
May your ears fill with wax
May your sinuses explode
Any non lethal condition
That keeps you off the road.
May your testosterone levels
Very quickly plummet and drop
And all your sexual urges
Come to an abrupt stop

The way that you drive
The last thing we need
Is for you to be able
To continue to breed.
I may just be a little biased
Mr Dangerous Road Hog
But i feel you should be
Treated like a rabid dog.
If you live the rest your life
The same way that you drive
It would probably be better
If you really weren't alive.

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