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I can't tell you how much I check my email hoping to just get cursed out
I miss you my lover.
I've missed holidays with you.
I've missed your birthday.
I'm now missing life with you.
I miss you.
Who you are.
How you are.
I miss your presence.
I cry more now than I ever did.
I thought my tears had dried up but for you they flow so freely
I'm just sad.
A new low.
A new normal.
My new normal.
Never felt more alone in my entire existence
Never felt more cold and distant.
Never wanted you more than I do now.
Just to hear your voice....
Just to be near you.
I'm sorry about I messed up things.
I'm sorry for leaving you.
I guess in another life maybe
But I fear I'll never see you again.
I dread this life and anymore without you.
I just want you.
Only you.
I'll be vulnerable.
Let you into my softest side
The one you melted into.
I don't want to be distant anymore.
I just want to be close to you.
I just want to protect you.
I just don't want to hurt you anymore.
I want to be yours again and only yours.
I want to tell you every little stupid thing I think.
I want to love you.
Be the one you come home to after work.
Be the one you tell about your day.
Be the one who runs your bath and rubs your feet.
Be the one who you know has your back through whatever
But I messed up already and you won't give me anymore chances
To screw you over.
I get it.
I guess I'm just trying to get it out.
I know you won't come back this time.
Not this time.
I'm sorry.

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Untitled and unknown