melissaahowells - Where Is My Bed With The Pleasing Tree -Lined View(NOW REEDITED)

they said
the silent killer
is my new friend
they didn't chose their words kindly
nor wisely

the fist in my chest
the heartbeat in my ears
250/100
the sum of all my fears

have you ever scraped
your soul so close to the knife
of death
you felt it enter into you?

a black hole , a mistep
into the center of myself
I recognize now
the pulled beam of life
that once was in
my  mother-father's eyes

see how everybody dies
it can be impersonal
how it all comes to pass too soon
death doesn't giggle with you
it laughs out loud
and couldn't care less
about your feelings

death made me frown
while I began to wander in its
never never lands

it slithered words into my ears
as if I wanted its confidences:
say what number are you now
can you give me the sum total of your life?
then
the man behind the mask began to ask and distract with
his designated questions
I had no patience to answer
because Death was chewing on my
heart

I was caught within my thoughts
struggling too to recall
my story line
while feeling myself  untethering
from my life
so many thoughts
they became hanging clouds
before my moistened eyes

this seems undignified
inconceivable
I thought

more believable to perish
on an ancient battle field
than yield
to this dull plodding thing
which quietly terrifies

a thought intercedes:
where are my people
I didn't write an elegy
where is my bed with the pleasing
tree lined view
where are the arms that will
receive me if there's a heaven?

the horses
I  didn't hear them at all
nor did I see the chariots coming
why have they stopped?

who is that above me
staring down into me
why its my frightened face
who's realized
I'm rather alone

pain can be an eternity
of waiting for reprieve
and shaking the palm
called loneliness.

written directly to the page
LEGAL COPYRIGHT FOR THIS POEM 5/20/2023 12:02QM TIME AND DATE STAMPED
AND ALSO FOR THIS POET WRITER AUTHOR MELISSA A. HOWELLS

RE EDITED 5/31/ 2023  TIME 3 :34AM PST...TIME AND DATE STAMPED FOR COPYRIGHT@
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED BY THIS AUTHOR  MELISSA A. HOWELLS
AND MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD

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MELOO STRAIGHT FROM HER TILT-A-WORLD