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I couldn't....

I couldn't decipher...
I couldn't tell whether I was enough.
I decided bigger was better
And unfortunately that ego got too large.
I just had to do my part.
I thought I wasn't doing enough.
I thought I wasn't enough.
I felt broken.
That was my own feeling.
I said things to you that I didn't mean.
I projected all my insecurities on you.
You never held me back.
You're nothing like my mother.
And I'm sorry I confided in another instead of you.
I wish I had reacted differently
Nonetheless I understand your level of frustration in tolerating the disrespect
I'm sorry.
For everything.
Not just for leaving but for everything I put you through.
I love you.
I more than love you.
There are no words to describe my level of affection and appreciation for you.
They aren't words you can see.
Only words to be felt.
I dropped the ball.
I'm sorry.
I won't ever run from you again.
I won't ever lie to you again.
Not even for your comfort or mine.
I'm sorry.
Be blessed lover.

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I couldn`t....