I could tell she was a fake
When she came on the scene
With the obviously home made
Holes in her blue denim jeans.
So obviously not designer,
Just not the real thing,
Though she looked authentic
Draped in shiny bling.
But the holes in her jeans
Where her flesh was bare
Looked like they'd come
From genuine wear and tear.
Or, horror of horror
She'd got them off the shelf
And with a knife or shears
Tried to fake them herself.
They just didn't quite have
That authentic designer touch
The real reason those holes
Normally cost so much.
Those authentic holes
Come at a price
It takes designer skill
To make then look so nice.
I outed her of course
On my Instagram page
Covered her with scorn
And concerned outrage.
Much to my concern
She didn't give too hoots
Just wore her fake jeans with
Counterfeit Doc Marten Boots.
She's on Breakfast TV now
As Hostess of the day
Which only goes to show that
Crime sometimes does pay.
