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7/25
I know I'll be safe....
and I'm struggling with safety and actual fulfillment.
My question to myself is wtf am I so afraid of stability....
Am I that messed up?
I broke a good woman.
A real good woman.
I have no inkling to be the issuer of those emotions once again
I promise I'm gonna stay to myself.
Gideon....in the Bible he was the destroyer.
I dealt that damage to the one I love most.
More than anything and anyone.
I will be alone forever.
That will be my punishment.
Been doing well...
She's better with someone who loves her with a whole heart from the start
I've been by myself for almost a year.
It's not bad.
I crave interaction and intimacy sometimes
But I fight it off.
I don't feel I deserve that just yet.
Harder to pursue when you feel you're not deserving.
I be thinking I'm ready and then I'm not.
All I wanna do is cry.
When I'm really ready to step out I will.
I'm happy she's had the courage to.
She's always been stronger than me in that way.
Blessings all around.
Ima feel my feelings and go night night.
and I'm struggling with safety and actual fulfillment.
My question to myself is wtf am I so afraid of stability....
Am I that messed up?
I broke a good woman.
A real good woman.
I have no inkling to be the issuer of those emotions once again
I promise I'm gonna stay to myself.
Gideon....in the Bible he was the destroyer.
I dealt that damage to the one I love most.
More than anything and anyone.
I will be alone forever.
That will be my punishment.
Been doing well...
She's better with someone who loves her with a whole heart from the start
I've been by myself for almost a year.
It's not bad.
I crave interaction and intimacy sometimes
But I fight it off.
I don't feel I deserve that just yet.
Harder to pursue when you feel you're not deserving.
I be thinking I'm ready and then I'm not.
All I wanna do is cry.
When I'm really ready to step out I will.
I'm happy she's had the courage to.
She's always been stronger than me in that way.
Blessings all around.
Ima feel my feelings and go night night.
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7/25
7/25