I was standing on the outside…
While mingling with the crowd,
Feeling alone and oh, so blue,
And feeling like I wasn't allowed…
I felt I wasn't allowed to join in,
This happy party I had attended,
Always a flower in the pot…
And never, ever befriended!
Left to feel isolated and alone,
Time and time again,
Oh the pain it invoked in me,
And the feeling of total shame!
What did I do that was so very bad?
That I had such an isolated life,
Was I just an encumbrance?
Me, the neglected and abused wife!
I was the ‘party widow,'
Always attended alone
Feeling so embarrassed…
Wishing I'd stayed at home!
Always the wallflower every time…
There was a function to attend,
Alone again, well of course…
It was expected to the end!
The ‘widow' all my life was I,
All my life I attended alone,
Left to cope and left to my shame,
And all alone in the family home!
Knowing people were chatting…
And seeing them looking my way,
And knowing with all certainty,
I was the centre of the topic that day!
I didn't want to, but I had to lie,
And the bile stuck in my throat,
Going against what I didn't do!
And it would rise and surely choke…
So I stopped attending the functions,
And always stayed away,
Once more knowing for sure,
I was the topic of talk that day!
I always felt so ashamed of myself,
For it was always a forgone conclusion,
That the ‘widow' would attend alone yet again,
Be sure, there was no illusion!
For years I felt so isolated,
No party, no meal and no night out,
So one fine day, I made my choice,
And in my mind, I had absolutely no doubt!
So I packed up my belongings,
Determined and motivated,
To leave the life I had behind,
The life I surely hated!
So I made for the door…
No more the ‘widow' for me!
Into the sunshine I left behind my pain,
And I started a new life you see!
Now I attend all functions,
And every party I can join in,
Have a laugh with everyone else,
For I prevailed, and I intended to win!
Now everyone knew all those years,
That it wasn't all about me,
And they knew I never wanted to be alone,
But I was so blind I just couldn't see!
And now, well I've seen the light,
The error of my ways,
No more the downtrodden woman…
But I'll be happy for the rest of my days!