Musings by The Poet Loriet
Blast From The Past
It took me months of counseling
at the women's shelter, but
I am proud of myself.
I recognized my ex-husband
in you today.
It was when you yelled at me,
acted as if I had no right
to my emotions, my tears.
I recognized the old fear.
Years of being controlled,
and nobody will do that again.
I used to go in the bathroom,
lock the door and lie under
a stream of hot water,
crying in the dark.
His mom used to cry
when his dad beat her up,
so he got angry at my tears.
I've learned to hide them,
to cry alone, thanks to him.
You had me crying on the phone,
such hatred in your voice...
I have a choice this time
to walk away...
The private phone line rang.
I knew it was my best friend
calling to check on me again,
and I had never needed a friend
like I did at that moment...
"Gotta get the other line,"
I told you as I hung up.
And I knew that I would never
answer another phone call
or knock on my door from you.
Nobody will make me feel
guilty for my tears.
I won't apologize for
getting hurt.
I answered the phone
and as soon as
I heard Bobby's voice,
I started sobbing
with relief.
"Baby girl," he said,
"what did he do to you?"
And he told me,
"Don't you ever let that
happen again. You're
worth more than that."
I promised I wouldn't
and knew that this time,
I'd keep my promise.
I'm glad I saw that side
of him
before it was too late.
Never again.
Lori Beal
at the women's shelter, but
I am proud of myself.
I recognized my ex-husband
in you today.
It was when you yelled at me,
acted as if I had no right
to my emotions, my tears.
I recognized the old fear.
Years of being controlled,
and nobody will do that again.
I used to go in the bathroom,
lock the door and lie under
a stream of hot water,
crying in the dark.
His mom used to cry
when his dad beat her up,
so he got angry at my tears.
I've learned to hide them,
to cry alone, thanks to him.
You had me crying on the phone,
such hatred in your voice...
I have a choice this time
to walk away...
The private phone line rang.
I knew it was my best friend
calling to check on me again,
and I had never needed a friend
like I did at that moment...
"Gotta get the other line,"
I told you as I hung up.
And I knew that I would never
answer another phone call
or knock on my door from you.
Nobody will make me feel
guilty for my tears.
I won't apologize for
getting hurt.
I answered the phone
and as soon as
I heard Bobby's voice,
I started sobbing
with relief.
"Baby girl," he said,
"what did he do to you?"
And he told me,
"Don't you ever let that
happen again. You're
worth more than that."
I promised I wouldn't
and knew that this time,
I'd keep my promise.
I'm glad I saw that side
of him
before it was too late.
Never again.
Lori Beal
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Blast From The Past
Blast From The Past