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 Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god

TO abscond OR NOT?

I wanna fly like a bird,
Instead of living through my words.
Set my soul aflame,
Run free from the torment.
Run free from anger and hate
That have made this family what it is…
Sh!t…this family is going to hell,
And I don't even believe in such a place.
God cannot help me now,
For he has not helped me in the past.
I pick a blade of grass,
Hold it firmly between my fingers and think,
“I am the blade of grass,
I remain where I am,
No means to escape
Until that unique individual comes for me,
That day I will never see.”
I almost know where I'm going,
But I can barely decide if I should…
Continuing is hard,
Quitting so easy…
So since I'm looking for a challenge,
I'll throw up a coin,
Get it stuck in the stars,
And let THAT decide my fate.
Tonight is the only night
That I will sleep easy from torturous nightmares.
Sweet dream?
No such realm for me.

November 1, 2003

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