Don't preachify to me
That I need to except the lord in my heart,
I have lord in my heart,
Lord of the ring.
Jesus is my savior but
He should worship me because
I am his greatest writer.
Now I don't mean to be modest but
I do think that religion is too serious these days,
Why, I bet back in biblical times,
Jesus was a drunk, I think this because
Most carpenters are also drunks.
Jesus was in a gang, they called themselves
The disciples and they was
Straight up west side gangsta!
And they were all black.
Jesus had an afro ya know,
He wasn't geri curlin' it up or nothing!
God disowned Jesus because
Jesus was in a gang.
Why else would Jesus be sent to earth?
You think he wanted to be here,
Hell I don't even want to be here!
God banished his no good son to earth
And said,
"Boy I oughta break my foot off in ya @ss,
If there was a hell, you would SO be going there!"
And the mother god pleaded with father god and then
They got divorced but
I think they're gonna get back together.
Jesus made togas and sandals cool back in them days.
Jesus also had gold fronts ‘cause he was the pimp!
I bet Jesus had a few brothers and sisters too.
They just don't want us to know that.
That angel Gabriel had a gang too, ya know.
They was called the
Angels and they took people to heaven as a part of
Initiation. In order to complete this
Initiation, you have to DIE!
This gang was so straight up the shizzle mah nizzle.
And then you are an angel in heaven,
Oh it's true, it's damn true!
As stated once before, somewhere,
There is no devil,
Only someone who resembles him,
His name is Jerry Seinfeld and
He is boring people to death with useless comedy.
…
Um, where was I going with this?
Oh yeah,
Religion is not meant to be taken so serious.
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