It appears, dear sir, that you have gotten me
Rather confused with someone who actually GIVES A SH!T!
Sorry to be so crass, but do not tell me your woes,
I am still reeling from the ones recently felt,
The ones I already have for myself.
I don't want you to tell me that your wife
Won't lick your balls, I can hardly muster up the effort to care.
I don't want to know that you have a rash somewhere special
And it is spreading,
That makes me not want to know you!
And please, please, PLEASE
Don't tell me about your failing erections,
You are like 48 years old,
You knew it would happen.
You can't be young forever!
I cannot continue to be your friend if I have to know ALL THE DETAILS!
I think you should now leave,
I'll give you a quarter,
Call someone who can care,
And do not ever come to me asking me to
Listen to your story of how your friend died with an erection.
That is not something I ever need to envision.
I also have grown tired of hearing about how your dog
Humped a stuffed animal for an hour,
I know there is a god up there somewhere,
But obviously there is a devil too!
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