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After The Funeral


I stood out there today,
In a beam of sun by the bay,
Trying to get some warmth;
Trying to regain the energy to want to go on.
Closing my eyes, I let my spirit get
Absorbed in the breeze,
The cold winter breeze.
It is not so bitter, as I am.
I am floating so calm,
Just going but here I am, at the bridge,
Looking down, wondering if the plunge
Would be enough to kill me.
I want to walk on but I am
Numb with sadness.
Jerry has left us, why must he go?
He taught me things
That could not be taught in a classroom.
My heart goes out to his family.
My soul yearns to follow.
I am so miserable that he cannot
Teach me anything anymore…
Or can he?
Now…
I stand here in the shadows,
Hiding from those who are well.
I have lost myself
In the shade,
I just stood there unnoticed
By a wave of roses,
And roses mean remember.
That, I shall never forget.
As I leave the tribal center, tears.
Everywhere I look, I see tears,
And not always mine, they must be the earths.
It must be the sky's…
A face I will never see in person lingers
In my memory.
I've seen him; he died on the 16th
And I've seen him today, on the 21st.
Just a whisper of white
As he was passing on,
And I wanted to grab his hand,
Why, I don't know,
To get him to stay or to help me leave.
There was someone beckoning for him to walk on
I see this and now
I suppose I am ready.
I am now ready to let go.

November 21st, 2003







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