Lying is like a talent, not everyone is good at it,
And I, well, after years of discord of achieving such talent,
I have mastered it about as well as anyone can.
And I know I have mastered it,
Because at my cottage,
With the purple picket fence
(purple because I've never seen a purple fence)
I've dawdled my time,
Practicing what to tell my husband.
Yes, being 20 and married has taken it's toll on me.
When he comes in asking for love and advice,
I tell him that I can offer him nothing but care,
When I know I could offer him more.
As time sheds on,
I found that raising our runt dog
Has proved to be a harder task than I was prepared for,
And told my mom that I wanted nothing to do with her
Or her ironic comments or her money.
I really did want her money though.
She lives so high up on a pedestal
And my dad sits there and feeds her ego with compliments.
All I ever wanted was a normal family,
Being that my brother is paralyzed from the waist down,
Football injury, he never saw it coming,
And a sister who is on her 3rd husband.
I pity neither of them
For their drinking problems were terrible
And now they have found better things to do with their time.
I used to tell them that I would trade places with them in a minute,
But that, too was a lie.
Why would I want to do that?
Look where they are in oppose to where I am?
As for myself,
I married rich.
I'm too lazy to want to support myself,
I have nothing to care for,
And lying is a talent I have accomplished.
It took me years and I ruined 3 family's trying to do so.
I sure miss my in-laws…
Well, not really.
So I have perfected the lost art of lying because
You are either really good at it or really bad at it.
There is no in between.
Well, yeah there is.
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Now see?
I bet you believed some of that!