I think I'd be happy just holding you in my arms for a short while,
But you are like all the others, raucous, eager to leave,
Always on the lookout for a better day on the horizon.
You hurt me with a simple glance or glare, I am a puddle
To anything you have to say, but now, I am a puddle of pain,
Drowning in ferocious pain that only you could deliver.
I loathe you, yet lust you, yet detest you, yet desire you entirely.
I cannot stand that you are sitting mere inches away from me
And after having 3 months of fulfilling conversation,
There is only perpetuated silence and I cannot figure out
Where you went wrong, for surely I have not changed.
I could not change for you said you enjoyed me the way I was,
Why change after my current state got me such compliments?
Surely you are insane and have always been
To pay me a compliment that made me blush a color of crimson
I have never blushed before. This is no thanks.
This is merely me pondering thought and logic,
Wondering how the hell I managed to mess up all the glory in my life.
Where will you be in three weeks, after the holidays,
When you have rid your system of me? Where can I reach you?
You change faster than the seasons, faster than sound.
There is simply nothing I can do to help our friendship, or
Whatever this was, other than offer you my sincere apologies
Because sometimes, I do screw up but it takes a lifetime to notice.