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Oh Dear, What Can The Matter Be?Oh dear what can the matter be, The fairy's lost and not on the Christmas tree! We looked all over and just couldn't see her, She was on the tree but now she's not there! She's not in the box with the baubles and stuff, And she's not in the cupboard full of fluff! We can't seem to find her, no matter what we do! Oh what in the world are we all coming too! The baubles and tinsel are all over the floor And there's a knock - at the ruddy front door! Oh cor blimey, its Santa's elf! Shouting, 'There's yer fairy, on the kitchen shelf!' 'Flipin' eck!' I shouts, 'Thank Rudolph for that!' Cos I thought the fairy got ate by the cat! Hell - her dress is a torn and tattered mess But I'll glue it up so people won't guess! 'Listen!' Said the elf, 'Your tree's just sad!' 'I've never seen a tree looking that bad!' 'Behave yourself!' I said to the elf, 'Or I stick you up on top of the shelf!' 'You'll go all mouldy and full of rust' 'And over time you'll be hidden in dust!' 'The spiders will spin their twisty web around you!' 'Tell me then, just what will you do?' 'I'll rip the web in me bare hands!' Said the elf, 'For I'll not live on a ruddy, dusty shelf!' 'Let's call a truce then,' I said to the elf, 'Ok!' He said, 'but please, take down the shelf!' So I got me hammer and bashed it hard, And down it fell, like a lump of lard! As I turned around, I spotted the tree, And there was the fairy, winking at me! 'When you take down the tree,' she said to me, 'Please be careful I'm fragile you see!' 'For this time next year, I may be frailer than frail' 'And that will be the end of this Christmas tale!' MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem |
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