Were You There?

I looked around in so much pain…
The anguish more than I could bear!
I raised my eyes to the Lord above,
And screamed out; ‘Are you there!!'

He gave no sign that I could see!
There was nothing to tell me true…
Whether He was there or not,
For the hell He let me go through!

‘Why didn't you help me?'  I cried out loud,
‘You let this happen, you know it's true!'
‘You had the power to stop it all!'
'Instead you let the evil wash on through!'

I can't comprehend why a God so good…
Would let this vile evil occur!
Why, when all He had to do…
Was raise his hand to stop it…it isn't fair!

He tells us' ‘little children come unto me!'
Yet what did He do that day?
For he didn't hold up his hand to stop it…!
No! He let evil have its way!!!

I asked Him, I did, I begged of Him…
‘Dear God, please hear my plea!'
‘Invoke your wrath upon this evil!'
'I need retribution!  Can't you see?'

Why, oh why, oh why, I ask myself,
What is it all about, tell me please!
Because I have no idea, none…!
Why evil can bring us to our knees!

‘Where you there, did you see?' I asked,
‘Didn't you hear her cry and sob?'
‘Why did you allow it to happen?'
'Yes, You! The all forgiving God!'

‘She went to hell and back…'  I shouted,
‘You never stayed the torment and pain!'
‘You let it happen, oh why did You?'
'You let it happen again and again!'

‘You tell us forgiveness we must show!'  I sobbed,
‘And tell us we must give compassion!'
‘Well how, tell me how I can do that?'
When I want him dead - with a passion!'

'I can't forgive, I won't forgive!'
'Tell me why the hell should I…?'
'When all I really want in life…'
'Is to watch him suffer and die!'

'Is that harsh of me to say?' I asked,
'Do you think that I am bad?'
'Well I jest you not, I don't really care…'
'For he made my life so sad!'

‘Are you there?'  I shouted to God!
‘Why didn't you stop this pain?'
But He didn't listen, was He even there?
For the child suffered again and again!

Sometimes I get angry and mad at Him,
and yes, sometimes I rant and shout!
But I have my reasons, and He has His…
And I need to let my anger out!

‘So then God, can you tell me true…'
'Just what it is and why…?'
‘You allow such suffering on this earth!'
'And why you allow the children to cry?'

'I have patience but its wearing thin,'
'And this I have to say…'
'I hope I really hope…!'
'You can explain it to me one day!'

'Because I'm lost, I really am,'
'How can you let this be?'
'How can you allow such evil?'
'Because it's totally and utterly beyond me…!'

Now since I had this chat to God,
He came to me and said;
‘Catherine, please believe in me!'
'And please don't live in dread!'

‘You're allowed to wonder and question why,'
'Because you were in so much pain,'
‘You're forgiven for what you ask!'
'But please don't doubt again!'

So I promised Him no matter what,
I will never question why,
For He promised me the answer will show,
On the day I die.

©Catherine Inglesby 1994

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