Oh my goodness gracious Ellis!
You wrote a poem all about me!
And posted it on your web site,
For all the world to see!
Errrm, I think you have a problem lad,
Cos your hormones seem to be rife!
I think you're in need of H.R.T.
To give you a purer life!
You hoped I would be in the 'trojan!'
But Ellis, that aint so...
Cos I don't want no virus's...
I'm here to make 'em go!
And yep, I know me computer stuff,
Cos I'm a computer freak!
And when 'I' have a techno hitch,
Tis only 'my' help I seek!
Now I guess you aint got a ‘firewall?'
Or an ‘anti-virus too?'
And trust me kid, you definitely don't…
Need a ‘trojan coming through!'
So then kidder, what do you say?
Do you want them programs true?
Cos say the word and just like that…
They'll be on their way to you!
And what about the computer then!
Tell me it's ill's and ail's - you nut!
Cos if we don't get it sorted,
That computers gona go kaput!
So look out for low flying objects,
Cos help is on it's way!
And just like that - this Catherine,
Will send her brains your way!
Now it seems you like me face and hair,
But don't be fooled by all you see,
For I went to Hollywood to have it sorted,
And that was the end of that for me!
Narr, Ellis, I'm only kidding…
Cos I really aint all that…
I think me cam must be a good one!
Oh, I gave the secret away, oh drat!
I have a saying I use a lot,
And this is how it goes…
And I believe in all I say…
Cos I'm the one who knows!
The looks are not important,
Because if the heart is good,
Then that means the person's beautiful,
That being it as it should!
What you get is all I am,
For I am basically - ‘just me!'
That sums up little old Catherine here;
No false on show, just truth you'll see…
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