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To My Love - all poems


You came next or first?
You were and you are still
Can it be just an remembrance?
My thoughts are with you
But I am here
I am alone and I don't  know
Did I lose or had I gained something?
But thank you for this that you were
And for this first smile of you
And for the phone too
And for this what happend after
We know so little
And so much we know
Or maybe we just have imagined?
Where are you now?
Why not with me?
I know I'm not so splendid
As the world which you have to get to know
But when you come back here
We can finish
What has been so merrily began.

You are here still

I look through unnecessary things
I'm ashamed that I sit here alone
These are not places great
For hands without companion
But I don't care
I have you yet, you are in my head
I feel you so strongly
That nothing will make me no lonely
I'm strong now
I still hear your voice around
I see you,  I feel you near me
You are here
Looking
Sitting on the other side of the table
You are smiling and kissing me
Yes you are here
There is  nobody else
Because only we are still together
We live in the same world
Australia ,Canada ,Poland
Every bit of this world
Is just one mysterious garden around
Where we admire the same landscapes
Where we pick the same flowers
And where we feel so well anywhere
Because we are together.



Conqueror

You entered on my territories
You mastered them without question
Like William the Conqueror
I kept silent ,expressing agreement
With your English imperialism
And now what  , you resign?
Then fear , tells you to put out
This what you earlier lighted
You want peace suddenly
You play in the diplomat
You want friendship but you forgot
But  a moment ago
You  already had almost all.




Three nights in Zakopane.

I ran to you on meeting
And I became drunk on your closeness
We plunged to each other
And we fell amazed
Lasting in this joyful intoxication
We couldn't  find places
In bed our amusement
Laughing

I trembled as a leaf
In the gust which you were
With cold and fright
Before the storm which  fell on me
I clung to you
How I would want  to conceal myself in you
And you trembled yet more strongly
Apologizing...

You uncovered me
Now I had to find you
In darkness, blindfolded
You led me , you helped
Because alone I was yet too shy
In order to  look before me
I felt guilty now
Sacrilege.





Irreplaceable
You are reflected in everyone,
The sight, the palm, the mouths
My Mirrored room
Everywhere you
And only you                           Out naivety!
Even in his eyes different            Out illusion!
Even in his embraced               It is me who is left
Tool caress                         And my emptiness
Replaced I do                              I don't want anything
Not good enough                   Your circulating husbands
To take your place               Your handles and uvulas
On the other side of the mirror    Asking about so little
Soon I will find a stone             And  you as well
And I will break all this glass!       You  all are
                                              Only escape


I can't break anything
Because you are my reflection
Respectively and you this exceptional one
Without you  I am like a mirror
In a room without light
In darkness
I don't see anything there is no  me
So I go out on meeting you
To see my self again
In my reflection
To not forget that I exist.




High tide
I drowned
There is no world
You are
And I got lost
Though I was on time to run away
Before your closeness
But now I drowned
In torn longing
For you



Distance

I don't feel you so strongly now
Your smell grows flat
It stayed  only
En empty gust of oblivion
Your eyes walk away
How birds' flock
Disappearing in the blue of the ocean
But I stay here
Pressing in my small world
Again putting to shame
My own steps
And hands without support
I am not already strong
Loneliness wraps around me its overcoat
We become one
It is my soul
I became its incarnation
I got lost in it
I do not  know where  I am
I don't know  who I am
It is everywhere.




I've already got lost in this way to you
Constantly wandering aimlessly
Looking for beauty in space
But what is it for?
When I still go to you
And seeing you I go away
Because it is still so far
Even standing face to face
Distance does not get smaller
So I run away further
To a feeling that I  lose again
Crying to miss You again
No ocean will cover me your eyes
No mountain routes will make me forget...
And however I err further
Having hope ,that once
I  will not need  to go away.



You returned in dreams again
About blue of your eyes
So sweet...
About kisses
So delightful
And about touch
So penetrating ,
So true...
How every word
Sunk in memory
Our moments
You fed me
The sight of you
And you are in me again
How alter ego
How the answer
For all the questions
How reassuring
For uncertainty
How the source of new hope
Not ending
The history of our hearts.



A night

I gave myself up today
For you
Near you
Though it was not you near me,
I gave myself up
Giving nothing more
Except me
And you do not  even know
How this is a little
I cried today
By you
Near you
Though you didn't  
See my tears
I cried
Feeling nothing more
Except sorrow
That this is not you
Who lies by me.


Dedication

The trip the next day
An unnecessary trip
Which I dedicate to you  
How every action
Even this the most prosaic
I look at the world
In order  to know more
In order to give you
Still more
I fear only
To lose you on the way
I fear
That I will not find the road
To you
Because I will go far away
Because I will crash
Skipping in to the precipice
From which there
Is no return.


Sarah

I am Sarah, drowsy and wet
To worship his deity
On different ways
I am a woman trippant
World right next to
Leaving remembrance
I am a cloud which the wind
Propels over the ground
I am a shadow which you touch
And I disappear
Because I do not  exist for you.




I forgot
For a moment
About Your existence
Immersed in dream
In real
Gorged with delicacies
of the World
Passed me on tray
From wine binding
I walked away
To stop for a moment
Thinking about you
And I come back now
Yours again
Washed from sin
By love
To You
Even without you
Even not with you
Always yours.




I still look for you
I miss you all the time
Listening with attention in the silence
Ones small sadness
And sweet joys
I'm reflection of the
Events of the day and night
To stand up again
Before the wall
Silent loneliness
Closed somewhere
There in the center
Of my being
Deaf to words
An insecure nobody
Wanting nothing
Abstract from the world
Perfect and beautiful
In ones hopes
On self annihilation.



Prophecy

Sunken by you
For ever
I became a shell
Listening with attention , waiting,
For the High tide
You would tackle me
Inside you
Relishing
The magnitude of your love
My ocean      
The most ubiquitous                      

Ever road
Which takes me away
From you
Is incorrect
Every moment
Even the merriest
Far from you
Is lost
Because only you are
My source of love
And my happiness
The most essential.

So I wait
Turning back
From the incorrect roads
Which I tread
Wanting for a moment
To get away
From your power
In vain
When the Moon also
Prompts me the words,
That I'm yours
How could I
Not believe it?
When even my heart
Laughs
Into the sweetest
Prophecy
How could I
Distrust my heart
Which screams
For you, and it knows
That it is you!



Waiting for you

I swung with branches
A tree without roots
Free in space
Summoning it to flight
With every day
Its crown grows
Liberated by the pressure
Of the corset of youth
They would rustle so
So loudly
Summoning its lover
Who it lives for
Who it dances for
The wild dance of nature
Among the rocky hills
Together with the wind
Playing on the waves
Melodie bursts of passion
    I call You
    My lover
    Among the night
    I call You
    The hum of the wind
    I call You
    The scream of the storm
    You would crash
    There on the island
    Where I wait
If you  want
I will be a willow
To be able to
Wreathe You 's shoulders
So that You could hear
The melody of the bird's wings
Fluttering among the branches

If you want
I will be a rock
Where You will reach
Looking for refuge
After a long cruise
If I could
To take You in
Exposing all the caves
In which you could  fall asleep
    You could be a discoverer
    You could wander
    Over pulsating  valleys and hills
    You could conquer all the hilltops
    You could find the roads to fiery cave
   And I will feel Your every movement
   You will touch me
   With the sounds of music
   Which you will feel in your heart
   You will be the pianist
   Which will play on me
   The song awakening to the life
        I call to You
        My dear
        Standing on the rocks ,
        Gazing at the Ocean
       Dressed in a gown
       Of gossamer and fog
       And with a necklace of morning dew
       You would arrive  to marry me
       Because I'm Your goddess
       Sailor
      I call hopeful
      That you will land on the island
      Where I wait



You got lost my dream lover
Your ship sank
In the depths of life
Among which you forgot
Where you have to swim
You crashed on the rocks
Which I poured out for You
From the last tears I shed for You
I am free now
In the isolation of this place
Expectant of betrothed
I go there now where He waits
This who is and will be
And to whom I'm whispering
And he is so close
That I hear his voice
Even when he keeps silent,
The one who I feel
The one who I see
The one who is me
Because I am his.




Happiness

I gushed
Betraying my secret
Stored already
In the secret chest
Of my being
God's whether you know
How does happiness look?
Because I know
I am happiness
My heart sings
The sun lighted me
Again
I love, I love,
I love
And only this matters
And you know this.


Silence

You keep silent
You don't know again
What to do
With that love
It crushed you
So suddenly
That You gnaw on your thoughts
What to answer
On such a call
And now
Maybe you've already forgot
Where this way leads
Where you never went
Lover
My cold English Man
Don't be so cold for me
Just let me love you
Or let me go
Because you are my desire
Until I will be sure
That you are dead to me
I just need to know
What your heart is
Telling you
About me.


A melody

No one feels this same melody
In his heart
As I do
Even you
All you are
Just an imagination
No one can
Feel this same
Orient express with dance
As I do
No one can
Give me
This orgasm
That I need
Even you can't
I'm alone again
At this simple world
With its roles
Without any sense
Just simple giving
And simple taking
Little little things to do
To make each other comfortable
I can't stand that situation
I want here
The life comes true
My Truth
With all meanings
In your tong
In your lips
In your hands and voice
And the music
In my heart.



I touch the sky yesterday
And I felt you again
So strongly merrily
And today?
I fell suddenly
Because I didn't know
What to say
In order to you would understand me
One your smile
Happiness
Moment of hesitation
And " OK I will call you later "
Charm splashes
I am on the bottom
I turn back
I run away
I dismiss all
What to do?
When you are so close
And you hurts so strongly
You gave me happiness
But I don't know
Will I survive
Trying again
Calling to your heart




No one knows me better now
Then you
And you know
What you can't do
You are just wonderful
I'm ready for anything
That is why
You can't be mine
It is too late
For us, my Love
You are strong
And you are good
You are everything
That I have inside
I was hiding you for so long
And now you know
That you must stay
In my dreams zone
Forever.....but...
How I'd like again
Have just piece of your heart
In my hand




What has happened?
Where are you?
There is no
"Open Mind" anymore?
You have gone again
It's because of me?
No?! It can't be
I called to you
Everything is all right
You are
In England
Just for 2 weeks
I can wait
I can live
What's a relief




Your "Open Mind"
Irritate my senses
Your World is so exciting
So close to touch
But you
You are still so absent
So busy for me
So closed
Why you can't
Just say
That you don't
Want me anymore
That I stayed
In the past
Where you will never
Come back.




Double life
Two marriage
On real
And with you
Always yours
In my heart
Double voices
About me and you
That all I feel is true
That you are my life
And it is not only a dream
That you are mine
All the time

And the second one
Voice about the things
What just have gone
With these few days
And you can't believe
That it can be love
Because you were in time
To go away.




It was some time ago
When I thought about this
That it's so good that
We are at this same side
Where God's fields are
It was when
I was pray for you
So that you come back to me
At this time when I was free
But you didn't come
When I was waiting alone
And right now
I don't care
On which side is God's glade
I chose you against the world
Rules through
He is so far away
From us
We must think
About our little steps
Not about this
What ones wrote is truth
Because the truth is only
Inside us
And I feel you
I smile again
Thinking about my way
Again in right direction
It's just sometimes hard to understand
That loving two men
Is so much worse as just the one.


Beloved

What can I do my Beloved
That I'm happy enough
Only when I love You
Only when I see You
As a man I dream about
As a my wonderful knight
I'd like to thank You
For Your beauty
For Your face so sweet to me
For Your voice so tender
For the eyes I remember
Were always so joyful to me
I want to dream about You always
My Lover from old days
I'll never forget You my Love
Your picture is always above
Every day and every night
I feel Your understanding sight
And this is so much to me
That it just used to be
Forever.


Visit

Are You single?
I am asking because...
I'd like to visit you
Someday
Some night
I'd like you to wait
For me
Alone
That's why I ask
I just need to come
To you
But I don't know
Your address
Is it problem for you
That I'm going
To visit you
Without my clothes?




Is it really too much for you?
This one night what I'm asking to?
It doesn't matter what we will do
Making love or not to
I' just wanna lie in your arms again
To feel your smell and hear your breath
I'd like to kiss your mouth
Is it too much for you?
Please give me just this
I can wait as long you wish
But promise me
That you will be waiting
For me
But for now you can stay there
I need to feel you in the air.




I don't know
How it happened
That I'm yours again
I'm standing
Between you
And the world I have
To see
That only you
Are real to me

Even missing you
All my life
Is better than
Everything I have
Because
It's you
Who make me feel
Alive.



Sending a letters
Is it good idea
For love?
But how
Can I have you
Now
If I was so stupid
To go away
So many times
To forget
Where
Is my place
My heart is with you
Is it honest
To be with you
And live
Without you?
But I don't care
I must do it
There is no way.




I hope you are waiting for me
Because I'll come to you
Sooner or later but I'll do
There is no way
Maybe you are waiting
For my doctorate will be finish?
Maybe you are waiting
My children will grow up?
Maybe you are waiting
I'll come to you
Without any letter anymore?
I don't know
But I'll do it
You know
So, you are silent
You don't need to speak
Because you know
That I belongs to you
Don't you?




You know
You must love me
Or break my heart
Because your silence
Is too ambiguity
Too exciting for me
And this way
You make me
Your slave
Forever
Don't you see this?
Do you want this?
Really?
How long
You will tease me
I didn't know
That you are
So cruel man
That you will play
With me
At this silent game
But just don't be scared
To speak with me
Just don't hide
behind me
That you love me
I'll be calm I promise
I'll wait when the time
Will come
For us
Just don't forget
To tell me
What do you really feel
All right?
I wont resign
From you, my Love
Not this time
When I'm so sure
When I know
That you are
My only Love
I have inside
My soul



Yes I don't want
Just sleep with you
I want your love
I want to read your soul
But you
You are afraid to show me
Your self again
Why?
What is wrong my Love?
If you love me
I'm yours
If you don't
I'll understand
So don't worry
Please
Just open your heart
To me
I love you
I beg you
Just be my friend
If there is nothing else i can gain




How Could you

How could you
Leave me
Without your hands
On me
Without your lips
In such a cold place
As a Poland is
Do you think it was easy
To live
So many Years
Without your kiss?
How could you do this
To me, my Love
To your lady
To your miss
To your sweetie pie
And your piece?
Do You see
How it looks now?
When I still miss you
But you know
I'm somebody else
Wife right now
And you know
That this is maybe wrong
That I feel
What ten years ago
But what to do
If I'm still in love ?
So please just wait
A while
Because I know what to do
To be with you.







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