I know he's up there
Looking down on me,
Making sure I step in every pothole,
Every mud puddle,
Every crack in the earth's crust.
I know he's up there
Making me feel shame,
Making me hit others,
Making me make faces at an opened sky,
A sky the opens up to rain on me.
I know he's up there
Making sure that a rain cloud
Follows me everywhere I go.
I know he eliminates
The silver lining from the grey cloud.
I know he's up there
Refusing to let me win some,
Allowing me to lose all,
Deciding whether to let me fall,
Ignoring me when I need some help.
I know he's up there
Seeing me cry,
Watching me laugh,
Scrutinizing my anger,
Inspecting my flaws.
I know he's up there,
Deleting my prayers,
Eradicating my fun,
Destroying my sanity,
Repairing my wounded ego.
I know he's up there,
Making me mess up,
Making me write this,
Making me have freewill,
Making me think.
I know he's up there making me do all these things,
And that's okay with me,
At least I'm not a “praise poet” who harps on his every damn word.
At least I don't pray every minute of my day,
Because without my prayer,
That's just one more voice to ignore with stupid hopes.
All I have to do is acknowledge him and that's good enough.
January 27, 2004
Suge
*For those of you who think I don't believe in god can kiss my huge ass.