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Up The Wall And Down The Pole!I dunno what to say or do? Cos I'm up the wall and down the pole! I've got a hole in me floor board, And the skirtin' not quite whole! I tried to tell me land lord, But he's no good to me! I mean, when all's said and done, He's so stupid he can't see! It would help if he wore his glasses, Well, I mean, his eyes are bad, Then again, he's dead old, So I guess he's pretty sad! But anyway here I am… Up the wall and down the pole, Cos at the end of the day, he's a pain, Cos he never reaches my goal! I wanted me flat so nice, But he just didn't care at all, And cos of that, I gota say, I gave the police a call! I told them am not happy, Cos am up the wall and down the pole, Cos there's a hole in me floor boards, And me skirtin's not quite whole! So they told me off for phonin', Said this is an emergency line, But this is a ruddy emergency I shouted, Cos am not feelin' fine! So they came around and arrested me, And put me on a charge, But I couldn't pay the fine… Cos me fine was too large! So they locked me up in jail, And oh, oh woe is me… I'm up the wall and down the pole, Cos me cell's draughtier than me flat you see! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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