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Instructions For Removing Tar And Feathers!Now then, let me think, What is it that needs to be done? To remove the tar and feathers…! Cos blimey, it aint no fun! God decided he made a mistake, And set about putting it right, So he tarred and feathered all the men, What a flippin' sight! But as they do, the men complained, Moaned about the plight they were in, But what can I say lads, except… You will all pay for your sin! You see, you think we females have it easy, Doing a trillion jobs each day, But in truth, you lot are hopeless, And well, there's not a lot to say! So back to the tar and feathers, Hmmm, well now, let me see… Oh, blimey, I remembered… Let's see what we can see! A pan full of oil is first, Mixed with sugar and soap, And well, all I can say is lad's… You better flippin' hope! Now once the oil is on… Next we get the egg white, Mix it and beat it all together, Oh cor blimey, what a sight! Blend it well and let it set, While we get a pan... Now boil the oil, sugar and the egg… And now…it's the 'master' plan! Bubble, bubble, and boil it well girls! But don't spill it on the floor! Cos it's like acid and burns like hell! So get ready to run through the door! Now then, when all this is done, And the mission is achieved… Throw it all over the fellas, girls, Now that will make them feel aggrieved! Now this will remove the tar and feathers, But lad's, I have to be honest here… You are now in a worse state! But hey…don't they say all's fair? So tar and feathers are off the fellas! But the special desert for the day…! Is all the fellas…in a pie…! Well lads, what can I say! Well, you're only mere men, And really, what do you expect, After all, when said and done, Everything's circumspect! Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble... The lads are in a mess and how...! No more tar and feathers... But blimey, you should see them now! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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