When my mouth touches the Glass, a smooth delightful Kiss
I know that I am out on the piss
When I go into the pub and see the red and white logo
The voice in my head says, “here we go!”
It's name round here goes by “wife Beater”
But I can't face dinking another bitter
The drips of alcohol succumb my thirst
As I know this pint will not be my first
4 pints later my smile is a smirk
I know I will phone in sick for work
The average woman suddenly looks like a model
And I go over to see her my legs wobble
I speak crap, and mumble lies
As the Stella tells me I have won a prize
Yet not even Stella can make me charm the girls
But I will go to the bar for another pint if all else fails