My hurt, my pain, my way of thinking for this night
Maybe if I die tonight
I could get you to love me again.
Maybe if I stabbed myself
You'd see me for me again.
Maybe if you looked in my eyes to see me,
You wouldn't harbor hatred for me.
You never really see me, only my appearance
And your hated comments make me
Want to do serious harm to myself,
But you couldn't care less.
You see me crying and pouring my heart out to you,
And you sneer and laugh.
You enjoy making a joke out of my hardships.
Sometimes I wish I were back
To the state of mind I used to be,
When I wanted death all the damn time,
And people tried to care but I shut them all out.
I was reluctant to let anyone care,
And now no one cares,
So everything was okay for the moment.
Now, life has become a mesh of nothing,
A mesh of hurt.
I keep telling myself that it will all be okay,
But sometimes,
I need someone else there to tell it to me as well.