Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god

Always worse the second time around

I laid in bed all day that afternoon, reeling.
I dealt with these sad feelings, but what emerged them from my soul?
They came so unannounced that it hurts.
I sit up in bed and let my tears surge down, down.
CRY CRY WHY AM I STILL DOING THIS AGAIN!?
I thought this was so two years ago, but no, it comes worse,
Always worse the second time around.
Some days I want to slit my wrists, end my suffering,
And other days I want to run rampant through the woods,
Bringing the spirits back with me.
All laid up in bed, saddened by some invisible force,
Laughing at the lingering shadows,
IT'S NOON WHY THE LONG SHADOWS!?
I don't understand anything anymore,
Should I keep trying?
Hold me, someone, anyone, spirits where are you WHEN I NEED HELP!?
No, I ain't mad at them,
I'm mad at myself for not understanding enough about death.
I'm just enraged and sadness gleams over my face,
Like a smile would on a happy child,
Because something in the air isn't right,
Something in the environment, my environment
Is definitely wrong.
I hope I never find out what it is, my vision should remain blurry,
I'm tired of being the only one to know of the tidings of bad days to come.

April 1, 2004
Suge


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Always worse the second time around

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