Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god


Like a bad case of vertigo,
It came so swiftly that I had to hold onto the table
To keep myself from falling out of my seat.
Dizziness, my body is spinning and so is the world,
But I have not moved and warning signs creep up and down my spine.
I am confused, oh where am I now?
My fingers barely cooperate,
I can hardly type what you are reading, can you help me please?
Tell me it'll be okay,
Like a mother.
Like my mother should but she shuns me and goes off to her world,
Who will stay behind with me when everyone has left?
The dizziness stops and I feel
That the whole world is peering down on me,
Like they are all looking at me.
My uneasiness churns my stomach and
I look out the window as the sun stabs its rays into my eyes.
I squint and it's like I can see nothing.
Nothing but white hot light beaming into my eyes,
Bending my eyes from the inside out.
I feel so buried, like I was buried alive or something.
I am buried underneath the emotional rubble and
I am muffling out cries to someone walking by
But no one believes what they hear.
Tears flood over me and a wave of nausea flows by me too.
I am sad once more. I'm sad forevermore.
This feeling torments my heart, like someone is hurting.
It saddens my heart and pulls a dark blanket around my thoughts.
I need to be pulled up with complete thought.
I need someone to realize that I am
A real person.
I'm a decent person who is afraid of every change she can't explain.

April 2, 2004

*I was just sitting here at this computer doing my math homework when I very suddenly got dizzy. My head spun so severely that I swayed back and forth and everyone else in the computer lab was staring at me. It was weird but it came and went so quickly. Scary. Freaky. So I just wrote this when that happened. I was still mildly dizzy when writing it.

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