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THIN YOUNG TOM LANE'S WAY TO WEIGHA nice young male turkey named Tom One summer unto beef jerky did glom. Week after week he'd cause the farmer much pain, By distaining of eating any grain. His turkey friends nagged and begged in the rain, "Silly young Tom Lane, you MUST eat some grain. You will be much too thin; PLEASE deign to eat grain. Please don't abstain grain again and again!" But week after week he'd seek only meat, cheese, And vegetables proven not to displease. Tom ate of this plan and he thrived with elan. Dr. Atkins said, "A thin turkey! Oh, man!" Tom's friends did gain lots of weight, Eating grain both early and late, While young Tom Lane ran around, The thinnest turkey of renown. Finally came one fine September day, And Tom's fat friends were hauled far away, But Tom wasn't allowed to go yet. Thin Tom stayed on the farm--as a pet! On a Thursday, a Thanksgiving Day, Thin Tom bows his wattle to pray, "Thanks, God. I'm thin and alive today, While fat friends are being eaten away, Thank you for a high-protein way to weigh. Amen! What more to say?" Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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