At work this week,
I walk down the hallway
at the hospital and
start grinning when I think
of all the little things
he's done for me.
It's like a fairytale
and I don't want it
to end anytime soon.
I have a hard time believing
that I am worth spoiling.
It has been years since
someone took care of me.
I cried the other day
after I told him that.
He tucked me into bed
and said, "Well, it's time
that someone did...you
are worth it, Lori."
I don't know what to think
when I wake up to roses
on my kitchen table.
He's taken my little girl
to softball practice and
taught her how to throw,
did dishes, kids showers,
tucked them in at night,
packed my dinner for work.
Last night, I opened my
lunch bag as the girls
stared at my fresh fruit
sliced up in tiny bowls
and my tomato stuffed
with tuna and sunflower seeds
and they said, "Wow, Lori,
look at that gourmet meal.
It's almost too pretty to eat."
And I said with a secret
shy smile, "He packed that
for me" and they all
said, "Awww, how sweet!"
And I couldn't help
telling them why I
couldn't stop smiling,
"And the other day, I
kissed him on the cheek
before I took a nap
to get ready for work.
He pulled me next to him
on the couch, looked
into my eyes and said
~I think we belong together.
Let's grow old together, okay?"
The girls all "awwwwww'd", sighed,
got a little teary eyed and I
gulped back my own tears as
I shook my head and said,
"He is amazing. If I am dreaming,
I never want to wake up...
such an ordinary moment
and when he said that,
I was stunned, said something
stupid like ~oh, ok~ and
went up to bed with
a smile...I don't know
how to be taken care of.
I spend all my time
doing that for others."
I am blaming all my smiles
on him...as I sleep, as I
take care of my patients,
as I sit in a rocking chair
in the nursery with
the newborn babies just
tucked in and hum as I sew.
I can't wait til I come home
from work and crawl into bed,
kiss him and snuggle into
his embrace as reassurance
that I'm not dreaming.
He's still there. This
is not a fairytale.
He is real.
I can touch him.
He's not going anywhere
without me by his side.
He's the reason I smile.
He's the reason I
can't stop.
He is my reason for
starting to believe
in love again.
I am blaming him.
He is both guilty and
innocent as a spring day
with the bluest sky
I've ever seen.