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Should I Feel Guilty Then?


So ok, I have a few health problems,
And some are so hard to bear,
And sometimes my ‘routine's' interrupted,
And I wonder does anyone really care?
If I'm not able to be as I am,
And left alone when ill and in pain,
But rather do things I'm not able to do,
Then it's me who suffers once again!

I try and stay as positive as I can,
And actually, I do just great at that!
I am proud of my strength and determination,
But sometimes I feel rather flat…!
When often I cant get out of my bed,
Then that means I'm in far too much pain,
I can't go on as I usually would,
Its too hard to try and too much strain.

So I tell myself all will be okay,
And all will settle down once again,
It's no use pushing my body to the limits,
All it does is causes me too much pain!
So I do what I have to do,
To keep myself as chirpy as I can be,
And believe you me, that's not easy!
Certainly not when you are me!

For though I am very restricted in life,
Through the health trials that I bear,
I do my best, and help as much as I can,
But then I wonder if anyone really does care!
You see, when I am unwell,
Routine for others alters too,
Then I am made to feel riddled in guilt,
For the things that I can't continue to do!

The pain that I bear each and every day,
Is hard to deal with, hard to cope,
But deal and cope with I certainly do!
For I will never lose faith and hope!
But when the guilt is passed over to me,
As it is each time I am unwell…
Little innuendo's comments and such,
Because I can't do, I'm given a life of hell!

Well the time has finally arrived,
When I am going to brush off the guilt and blame,
Why should I be made to feel so bad?
Have I done anything to cause myself shame?
No, my health is a mess I have to say,
But I am not ashamed of me!
I do what I can to get through the day!
But the guilt is passed to me each time you see!

It is bad enough being in this body of mine,
A body wracked in pain,
Without the added snide remarks,
To put me through guilt and shame!
Well I can't carry the guilt any more,
In fact, I flatly refuse to take it on,
Because it's hard enough to get through the day,
It really isn't any fun!

So because I can't be a help to one,
And because things alter without me,
Does that mean that I should feel guilty then?
Or do I finally set the guilt free?
I think its time to let it go,
Set this guilt free and accept no more,
And if that causes an upset towards me,
Then maybe its time I walked out through the door…

Leave behind the innuendo's and remarks!
Leave behind the guilt and the blame!
Concentrate on me and my health for a change,
And let those who complain now carry the shame!
And for those who expect the impossible from me,
Well, I'll no longer won't worry or fret….
As I am, or not at all…
What you see is what you get!

Should I feel guilty because I am ill?
Should I carry that guilt with me?
Should I continue to be made to feel bad?
Should I – or should I now take care of me?

I am lucky I am here,
They are lucky I am here,
So why make me feel so guilty?
If they really do care!

...I Do My Best, If That Isn't Good Enough...

***Tough***

...And The One Who Really Does Care...
***He Is All That Matters***





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