The Black & White Poet

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So difficult it has been
For me to tell
How I feel…

How can I feel
Special, and held by love
Yet wonder
Why he loves?

(Especially since I am still obviously not myself
Even though I try so hard to just be me.)

Or how can I feel
So unconfident
During the wrong times
Yet beautiful
When solitude?

Who plays these horrible tricks on me?
Why can't I grasp what I long for?
What I spend so much working for?

Like a man who works hard for something,
Yet is unable to posses or enjoy it.

Why must I work so hard in the first place?
Not too many others have to.

And when I do,
Why can't I have what I've earned?

And the pains of being far away,
Pierce me worse.

~DaYnA e. 7/10+11/04


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