You will never know
how I feel, will never know
because you won't read these words.
It will be all about you.
You will delete my website,
erase me from your memory
because it hurts too much,
pretend I never existed.
You will do what you always do,
and run away from it all...
What a blessing to be able
to shut out those who love you.
How easily you have forgotten
that when you were so close
to death's door with your asthma,
how she never even called to
ask how you were doing,
never even knew how close
you were to being put
on a ventilator for months.
You asked then how she
could have shut you out,
how she could have
not even cared, told me
it was always an inconvenience,
a reason for disgust when
she had to take you
to the hospital.
You have learned well from her
how to shut out others,
how to shut out the one
who WAS there, holding your hand,
sitting by your bedside,
the one who dropped everything
to take care of you.
You told me then
that you and her were done,
that she had shown her true colors,
that you knew it was I
that loved you now...
but you have forgotten.
You might as well
stand beside Joe at the altar
when she gets re-married,
and pledge to love her
and be miserable
for the rest of your life,
because you refuse to allow
anyone else to love you.
I would have made a beautiful bride.
I would have always stood by your side,
but you left me at the altar
to chain yourself to hers.
I was the real thing,
but you walked away.
And you will never know
how much I loved you.