I've been into relationships where both my female partner and I decided to keep it secret for obvious reasons. Maredith, Loni and I were reluctant to tell the world what was going on. In short, we're not willing to take any risks like losing our respective jobs (or promotion), be expelled from our denomination, be stripped of our congregational office, be ostracized by the judging public, lose friends and family and be isolated from the lopsided society.
But all of my conceptions changed when I went to Toronto in 1995 and witnessed on hand how Canada respects human rights, the place where sexual, religious and racial discriminations were a taboo. I saw how "normal" people treat "us" with respect and admiration that it gave me the courage to disclose to my family who I am in their lives. Revealing my bisexuality was the best gift I got for myself and unchained me from the shadow of the past. In short, I was freed from the bondage of discreet relationship and became a better person who believed that all is fair in love, that it isn't transgression at all to be who I am.
Then I became a net enthusiast and fell in love with Pam and Cristy but that time, I disguised as a 28-year-old male city journalist and true to my handle, I caught their attention and they too fell for me especially the latter. But after seeing the consequence of my pretense and the heart broken souls, I opted to be firm in my conviction to be honest when it comes to loving someone again. And when I did, I had the opportunity to be a paramour to a 24-year-old psychologist but my infidelity ended our brief affair. She couldn't stand the rivals and the fact that I was unfaithful to her. Despite the reality that I loved her, I let her go.
Then on July 29, Vivian and I became officially on and that was the happiest day of my life as thewriter1193. The site filipinofriendfinder.com gave me the chance to find the friend and lover in one I've been searching all my life. Although the two of us are oceans apart and many miles away from each other, we see to it that we are in constant communication like phone calls, poetry writing and daily e-mails.
Vivian is the only internet woman who gave me the chance to prove my worth as a "steady." She loved and accepted me as thewriter1193 bringing out the very best in me. She stood by me when "someone" was supposed to stick to me. She never left me when "somebody" injured my heart out of jealousy and insecurity. She showed me her true colors by being there when I needed a friend or a person to talk to. So no one can reproach me for loving her this much.
I am not very sure where our love leads us at this juncture because of the distance and the extreme longing we have for one another. But one thing is clear, Vivian is one woman I will not put into oblivion because she is worth loving for. She is the nicest heavenly gift I got from the Fountain Head and aside from my boy Ali Raza, Vivian is the best thing in life that ever happened to me. I love you, Vivian!