Damn Linda for firing him!
Damn Butch for not hiring him
because of his asthma!
Damn Alex for not giving him
the time of day after his game!
Damn Ethan for pretending
as if he doesn't exist
when he's with his mother!
Damn Eric for acting as if
he's too good for the only
father he's ever known!
Damn those boys for acting
as if they'd rather be
at their mother's house!
Damn them for not
wanting to be over here!
Damn her for telling him
if he moved in here
that she'd take the boys away!
Damn WalMart with their
computerized hiring kiosk!
Damn the food distributor
who never called him back,
the car dealership that
turned him down with
a form letter...
Damn everyone who never
gave him a chance!
If only things had been different~
because I can't believe out of
all of the months of hell,
all the times he tried to
kill himself and should have
succeeded but didn't,
after all our talks and
all the time I have spent
getting close to him,
being his best friend,
breaking up and making up...
I figured there was a reason
he was still here and
we were still together.
I believed that all my tears
and sleepless nights and
prayers yelled and sobbed
at the top of my lungs
would actually make a difference.
I believed in him and in us.
But now he's lost his home
and his possessions and believes
there's no hope left.
He gave me his music cd's,
his grocery money, and
is getting rid of all
of his earthly possessions,
and wants to punish himself
by living in a box under
a bridge...
He told me he won't come over
to eat a meal here or listen
to his music or watch movies
because it would remind him
of what he's missing,
and if he moved in here,
we'd end up married in six months
and that was not what either
of us needed, so he's resolved
to living a life as a homeless man,
working odd jobs and saving money
to move away, and when he can afford
stamps and envelopes, he'll write.
And when I cried and said,
"I can't believe you're serious!
I don't want to lose my best friend!
This doesn't have to be this way!"...
He told me it would be a cold winter
and if his old body gave out,
he would still have a soul,
so I would never truly lose him
and it was just something
he felt he had to do.
And I said, "I feel like this
is goodbye," he laughed and said,
"Since when did you become
a glass-half-empty girl?"
This is too surreal, and
I refuse to accept this as truth.
This is a helluva way to
answer my prayers, God.
Damn the glass too!
There is no glass,
and never will be again.
