I am a mere mortal without a friend,
Who's finally decided to meet his end.
As I breathe my last and final breath,
I'm greeted by one who's known as Death.
Through the darkness we will walk,
sharing each of the other's thoughts.
He said I'll enjoy the life of the dead,
‘cause most fear it with terror and dread.
Forward we walk, side by side,
he gestures me toward him in pantomime.
He shows me an ivory stairway,
where many will walk on their last day.
He said they lead toward harps and seraphs,
no more disease or outrageous tariffs.
He wasn't shocked by my reaction,
but only nodded his skull in satisfaction.
But not for me were harps with strings,
But rather life with scaly things.
I wanted to burn in searing pain;
Being used to earth, it was no change.
I walked a rotting staircase down into Hell,
Where I was transfixed with an odious smell.
I finally reached the bottom level
And was honored to meet the Devil.
He looked rather dapper with horns on his head;
Very impressive for a Lord of the Dead.
I was pleased with his healthy condition.
He seemed as refined as a politician.
Death was my illness; Hell was my cure.
Why, the pleasant old chap even gave me a tour!
The place was packed with many great men;
‘though they'd changed so much I barely recognized them.
The interior decorator should be commended;
‘though most would say he must be demented.
There were torture racks and iron maidens,
All these toys were, no doubt, Satan's!
The place was like a Hitler Disneyland,
Except nothing was fake and you got no stamped hand.
Once one was there, he could not leave;
Death was one's admission fee.
There's more to tell but there isn't time;
I have to end my pleasant rhyme!