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And The Question Was…I was sitting at my computer tonight, Writing a little rhyme, When suddenly my phone rang… And I was shocked to see the time! On its way to midnight it was, But the phone was suddenly cut dead, So I redialled the number given to me… And this is what was said… ‘Mum, can I ask you a question?' ‘Of course,' I said, ‘go on…' ‘Ok, and you won't shout at me?' And this from my 6ft son! ‘Try it and see,' I told him, ‘What do you want to know?' Someone giggled in the background… Whose voice I didn't know! ‘Mum, it's like this…' He said, ‘Yes,' I said, I'm waiting, go on, do tell…' ‘Me and my mate were having a wee…' I thought to myself, ‘oh heck, oh hell!' My gut feeling was correct of course, He was as drunk as drunk can be! And of course, so was his mate… Oh glory, what I sight to see! It seems they were on their way home, And as lads do, they needed a pee, And when they espied each other, They both laughed and rang ‘mummy!' Dave asked me about when he was a lad, Said; ‘Mum, when was my foreskin taken?' I thought, ‘oh hell what's going on!' He was drunk, they'd been forsaken! ‘So mum…' He cheekily said; ‘How old was I, can you recall?' ‘Well yes,' I said with a giggle… ‘You were only very small!' ‘Well Ginger his mate, (alias Alex), told me… That his problem had caused him pain, And that he had it all cut off… Cos it was driving him insane! So Alex phone 'his' mother, And asked the same question as Dave, Oh to be a fly on the wall! Cos they were being really brave! Now Alex was only 9 months old, When he has his operation… And the smiles he gave when it was over, Were smiles of pure elation! And Dave, my son, was a little lad of 2… And boy, was he in such pain, But once they removed his foreskin, He never suffered with pain again! I laughed, I really did you know, And I told him what was wrong with ‘his,' ‘Yours was stuck and weeping!' I said! ‘So the doctor did the biz!' ‘He took you to the operating theatre, And put you fast asleep… And while you were snoozing in noddy land, His operating knife began to creep! …He removed the offending ‘bit,' Threw it to the bin, tossed it aside, And there it was, in all its glory, That little 2 year olds pain and pride!' Of course he grew up and knew no different, For how was he to know…? That not everyone's is the same… It's not something you put on show! So then tonight he's having a pee, With Alex, peeing into a can! And there before their drunken eyes, Was the sight of a circumcised man! Oh golly gee, oh glory me… They had me in peals of laughter, So much so, I have to add… I was laughing for ages after! So I can imagine it now… They, both standing by a tree… Chatting on the phone about ‘manhood's' And relaying all this chatter to me! But we really did have a giggle or two, And we really had a laugh! But Alex (Ginger), called me Mrs… ‘Oh blimey!' He said, ‘Can I call you Cath?' And of course I said he could… And we had us quite some funny chatter… Talking mostly nonsense they were, But that didn't really matter! So now they both know of their manhood, But would they remember this call next day? In the cold wintry morning…when they awake, I wonder what they'll say! I can just imagine it really… They won't be bothered at all… Because after all, when said and done… They think it's funny their foreskin took a fall! And as for Dave, what can I say? He's a really clever star! And I always, always knew… That child was going to go far! And of course, being a mum, I have to say - I got that right! For there he is, doing fantastic, His qualifications are out of sight! And so this tale comes to a close, But wait! I think there's more!! So hang about, and have a read… Cos I'll be knocking them out by score! So to Dave my son, and Ginger… (Oh, I think I'll call you Alex, your name)! I hope when you wake in the morning… You'll remember the call, without the shame!!! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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