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I Used to Have a Brother Once

I used to have a brother once
We grew up together
Played together
Stayed together
Learned so many new things
Together
We were not alike in many ways
But it never seemed to matter
He was my brother
And I only had one

Things seemed to change slowly
I can’t put my finger on it
Give you a date or a time
Everything just slowly became
Different
He had new friends
Secret friends
People he didn’t want me around
Later I grew to know why
He changed

I am not sure which came first
The drugs or the alcohol
Maybe a little bit of both
At the same time
All of a sudden he was different
He quit school
Quit work
And finally he quit us

There were times
Times when I got a glimpse
Got a glimpse of the person
I used to know
He tried to come back
But every time
They would drag him back
Back to the crime
Back to the secrets
Back to them
And away from us


It got to the point
I didn’t care anymore
I became a father
And didn’t want him around my sons
It might seem cruel
But you can only have so many chances
You only have so much love
Can take so much pain
Then you just can’t take any more
We got there years ago

I used to have a brother once
You might argue
I still do
He’s out there somewhere
Living as he has for the past 25 years
Day to day
Bottle to bottle
On the street
At least
I think he is
I honestly could not tell you
For sure

I haven’t stopped praying for him
Hoping someday
He might change
Come back to us somehow
But even hope has its limits
I believe in miracles
I’ve even seen a few personally
For myself
Maybe
Just maybe
There is a chance for one more

I used to have a brother once
God
If it is at all possible
Please
Oh please
Can you let me see him
Just one more time
Again

Ed Roberts 10/22/02
Far too many people can relate to this poem but the title will change
I Used to Have a Sister, Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, ---
If you are "lucky" it only applies to a friend.



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I Used to Have a Brother Once