THANKFUL FOR MY SANITY

A victim of life's magnified afflictions,
tales of my parent's struggles heard endlessly,
observant, attempting to comprehend each time,
reaching a point of feeling shattered to pieces.

Developed my own strategies as I grew,
made many mistakes along the way,
some faded, while others stuck like glue,
overpowering morality, with no room to settle.

Fighting like a true warrior of olden times,
a spear in my hand, holding on to strength,
needed not weapons of destruction,
facing fears with the guidance of sanity.

Kneeling, while pleading for strength,
to empower and destroy the anger within,
allowing it to grow, I knew I would not survive,
with the hatred of multiples scars unseen.

Attempting to seek help from loved ones,
was wasted as I was put to shame for sharing,
with their laughter, not believing my pain,
I survived agonies by believing in my self being.

Survival, not an easy task when feeling all alone,
but realized I am not, for I would not still be,
God must of sent me an Angel to watch over me,
for I survived each episode of destruction.

Thankful for assenting qualities of my sanity,
something many do not realize the power it has,
achieving special strength, unlike any other,
for I continue to believe life is worth its struggle.

An attitude filled with complexity and hatred,
adds wrinkles of torment on to your natural youth,
adding years to your life, reducing your sanity,
something perceived by many wrongfully.

So I've had a past with much not worth mentioning,
why keep on lingering to it when it's gone with the wind,
allowing dust to set in allows bacteria to grow to scum,
so I will cleanse daily, freeing my soul of sorrowful judgments.

Thanksgiving, a day for all to give thanks!
It is not the taking that survives your sanity,
but the giving that comes straight from your heart,
with no regrets of letting go of something always there.

I will take the crumbs left from your bread,
I will accept the left overs after your feast,
and give my thanks for the love of humanity,
and be thankful I still have my sanity.

Yana Petkov
November 2004

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